White Fragility: Why it's so hard for white people to talk about racism
Robin Diangelo (Beacon Press, 2018)
You'll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey: Crazy Stories about Racism
Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar (Grand Central Publishing, 2021)
Don't Let It Get You Down: Essays on Race, Gender, and the Body
Savala Nolan (Simon & Schuster, 2021)
I'm reviewing three books this month, just for the Goldilocks fun of it.
Robin Diangelo is, among other things, a diversity trainer. That is, she goes into workplaces to educate people–white people– about racism; and she almost always meets resistance. White Fragility is about what that resistance is made of. Consider:
(1) You are a terrible person because you're a racist.
(2) You were socialized in a pervasive and pernicious social system that benefits you as a white person, and that system is invisible to you.
Again and again, Diangelo has spoken with people who hear (2) and react as though she had said (1). Nobody wants to be guilty of racism, and we guard ourselves against overtly demonstrating it; but not using openly racist language is much too low a bar. If we get to the point of acknowledging that the system has been helping us all our lives, what are we supposed to do about it? We can't go back and make FDR include people of color in the New Deal, even if the Southern senators of the day would have let him. What's really possible? For one thing, we can educate ourselves; and for another, we can work on letting go of the fragility that makes any possible feedback feel like a direct attack on our character.
On the whole, though, I don't recommend White Fragility as a reading experience, unless you are already accustomed to the way sociologists write. Diangelo has good reason for speaking in generalizations, but as a consequence, her writing doesn't offer enough personal stories to make enjoyable reading. It's Too Hard.
By contrast, Amber Ruffin and her older sister, Lacey Lamar, have gone all the way Soft. This book would actually be a pretty good place to start the study suggested by White Fragility. Ruffin has a successful career writing comedy, notably on Late Night with Seth Meyers, where she occasionally appears alongside the host. Her position as the only Black woman in the room has yielded her a whole lot of material, but in this book, she's focused on her sister's life in Omaha, where they grew up. It's true, you'll never believe what happens to Lacey.
Lacey asks the price of some luxury good, and is told, not the price, but "You can't afford it." Clothing, furniture, a watch, it doesn't matter: she's Black, so she's automatically poor. She attends a seminar or a fund-raiser: the door-keeper argues with her instead of finding her name on the list. As a teen, she gets harassed by JC Penney security so often, she knows their secret knock. They once tried to pick her up when she hadn't even been in their store. Amber wants us to know this: "When you hear these stories and think, None of these stories are okay, you are right. And when you hear these stories and think, Dang, that's hilarious, you are right. They're both."
Savala Nolan writes essays from the in-between spaces of race, economic circumstance, and body composition. She's a light-skinned Black woman with a law degree, descended from both enslaved people and enslavers; she's gained and lost large amounts of weight all her life.
Let me give Don't Let It Get You Down the last word: "Black is as ingenious, resourceful, dexterous, and inventive as a double agent. Black people of all hues, geographies, dispositions, and beliefs can see each other, can switch codes, can perform and improv, and, just as women know something about gender that is often a mystery to men, Black people know more about whiteness–its inner workings; its underbelly; its face without makeup, tabloid style; the wrappers and trinkets at the bottom of its purse; its longings and emptiness–than whiteness may ever know about itself."
Just Right.
Any Good Books, September 2022